You like espousing ethics and break
promises in the same breath,
you say you value communication, but here’s the silence I
You wanted trust, but pulled away before we’d even built a foundation
you said you like to give, but push came to shove and all I got was the taking.
I *think* poems in the car
On the toilet seat
At the opening of my sleep
I don’t really know why
For some reason these places conduct (produce) flow
I am sitting in a very pretty coffee shop called the Yellow Tucan.
The cafe owner decorates the cafe with bright spots of yellow: oranges, tulips, architectural chairs, and truly brightens up the spirits of anyone stopping in.
It’s been 4 days since I’ve arrived in Paris.
Outside of my meetings for work I’ve committing to a practice of solitude as that’s what I have been looking for as I chose to take this trip– to recalibrate and deepen my focus.
After a sprint of work here and finishing this letter, I will go out to meet a friend, Pierre, to do what’s perhaps some much needed socializing. We will be going to the Musee de la Chasse et de la Nature. It will be my first time, and I am so very excited to go as I know the decorative art pieces there are splendid!
It hasn’t been difficult at all to find new friends here. There have been the hiccups of having to ward off men though. …on runs, during walks between meetings. But it’s nothing.
Work is going very well, although I’m shy to share with you the details of the project I have been working on just yet. It takes a lot of preparation, a lot of risk, and sharing sometimes feels scary because it feels like I am putting all my eggs in one basket, when I myself am not absolutely sure where this heading. But this I think is the scared me talking. 🙂
Things are moving very quickly forward though. It’s enough to excite me and frighten me simultaneously.
I hope I have the courage to continue on. And if not, I hope I have the courage to take up something new again. To persevere, and also to be brazen when acting for the good things– the worthy things.
Arming myself for the days ahead.
“On my deathbed, I will instruct a nurse to bring me the following:
A bag of parmesan flavored Cheese-Its, a burger, the crispiest rosemary covered thin fries, a glass of Diet Coke (lightly chilled), dill flavored waffle chips, a steak tartare with extra capers, the creamiest strawberry choux-creme cake, a McDonald Big Mac, and a Burger King Double Bacon Cheeseburger.
In my final moments, I will consume this food slowly and delicately as I fade into oblivion.” – Marina Keegan
Complement this creative marriage of Keegan’s prose from The Opposite of Loneliness and my appetite with If I Die Tomorrow, by Korean hip-hop artist, Beenzino.