Measuring Myself Today

Health:
Physically, I’m in pretty good shape. I’ve been trying to work out almost every other day, and it really helps me wash out the negativity and the mind wormholes I get into pretty often as someone with a head that has trouble not thinking. While being in shape is important, the need to exercise for me I feel comes mostly from the endorphins and relaxation (rewards!) I feel from getting an engaging workout in and having it demand all my physical and mental attention. It quiets my thoughts, and I really love that.
Food wise, I haven’t been eating healthily and I need to change that. I’m pretty tired from work most of the time, so I need to make sure I’m not eating foods that support lethargy or a weakening of the immune system.
I’m also struggling a lot with memory. Short term and some long term memories are really joggy and it’s getting concerning. At first I thought it was because I’m all over the place, and I’m just someone who needs to implement check lists, plan and such in very concrete, written ways. But I’m beginning to think it’s not just that. I keep forgetting things at an alarming frequency. Something to address and commit to going to a doctor for before it gets worse.
Physically also, I’ve been exploiting my youth by running on a bad foot for a while. The fractures keep recurring, the pain never goes away, and yet I’m still running. A conversation with a physical therapist last weekend really woke me up because she warned me that while my body is giving me all it’s got now, it won’t ever do that as I age, and that this could quadruple into a really serious issue if I’m not proactive and don’t make the decision to stop running as I’ve avoided so now. It hurts my young self: my passion and love for the rush of BREEZE I feel when running, experiencing nature at that kind of speed, and my pride as a 26 year old woman, but I need to work on being okay with stopping.
Work:
Work is pretty intense. I’m realizing more and more in hindsight that there were and are parts that are more intense and hard for me, as I’m still struggling a bit with resisting the unbalance that comes with being entrepreneurial. I kept fighting it. and I’m starting to come to terms with the fact that I’m supposed to be sitting alongside the minion that is crazy startup life and embracing it. Not all of it, but some of it. And that my understanding and personal definition of what it means to be “balanced” is a little rigid and maybe open to revision. It’s crazy hilarious and exasperating just how much I’m resisting the startup life. It’s perhaps very foolish of me. A developing thought, and not a belief yet, but sharing nonetheless. Business this early stage is also not going well at any point in time, and as a small company it’s hard to take the gains and losses of the company at arm’s length. Everything hits me.
I need to mentally be there, in that everything I am doing is understood [by me] that it was the best I could do at every given moment, with the best interests in mind and that I need to be better at bouncing back, being more openminded, and adapting even more so when the variables and circumstance change around me.
In terms of network and and professional life, things are going really great. I’m coming into my own as a professional and as an individual who is really curious, has a lot of things to say and craves deep connection. I’m continuously building upon and defining this multi-faceted, yet-to-be-determined creature that is my public self. I’ve been freelance modeling, started lecturing as a guest lecturer at NYU, consulted a few consumer brands, and advocating for mental health & my main work, ATEM. Life is very good on that front, and it’s amazing being part of a new tribe that’s full of many beautiful, bright, and well-meaning people, and thick in with the entrepreneurial, founder, business-women & men community.
Love:
The love is great. Not without some bumps and minefields thrown onto the plane I live in, but man is it great:
My love for God is amazing right now and rising.
My family, as colorful as our dynamics are, is trending up in the most beautiful, and wholesome ways I’ve never seen!
My romantic experiences, while colorful [in part to my overthinking myself], have been wonderful in their own ways, and I’m growing and learning more about myself: exploring the good sides, examining the needing improvement sides, and am interfacing and growing to know, see and share in the promise of love with someone that I believe and am grateful I have such a natural connection to.
Friendships are great. I’ve really seen this arena defining itself in the past 2 years and friendships are sifting and solidifying in their places as I feel they should be. There is the constant influx of new and old characters of course, and navigating that and my changing feelings and our changing positions is sometimes verging on the disorienting (hello people pleaser Susan, but short on time and life Susan), but this sphere’s developed into something that’s very much a solid ecosystem of peoples that are very loving and awesome and just solid, solid, lovable, trustworthy friends.
Play:
Play for me from experience (and I only have twenty-some years of this thing, experience) is doing or seeing something very creative or emotionally provocative.
That usually means for me seeing art, going to see an opera, being in some very high-nature habitat, maybe going horse riding? (it’s on my bucket list, I’ve never done it!!).
Reading is for certain for pleasure, but most recently I’ve been reading a lot to learn with the intention of helping myself develop as a professional and in more public facing contexts, and I’ve not honestly been allowing myself to pick up much reading for sheer “valueless” (whatever that means) pleasure . Learning though is a direct pleasure channel for me, so this is a little murky. I love to read to learn. But I suppose the topics I would be reading on would slightly change if I was only reading this past season for sheer pleasure. I would be less focused [by my nature] in my choice of subject matter, and would be reading anything from surfing, to horseriding, to vinoculture, to wines in Paso Robles, to the history of an art I have my eyes newly fixed on, to reading on photography, to reading on sculpture making, to reading all the books I have in my personal reading to do list, and rereading Jane Austen on replay over, and over, and over again.
As Bill Burnett and Dave Evans define it in Designing Your Life, play eliminates any and all consideration of “work” that is colored even with a drop of something that is not pure joy:
“Play is all about joy. If you observe children at play, you will see the type of play we are talking about. Play is any activity that brings you joy when you do it. It can certainly include organized activity or competition or productive endeavors, but when those things are done, “for the joy of it” they are play. When an activity is done to win, to advance, to achieve– even if it’s fun to do so– it’s not play. It may be a wonderful thing, but it’s still not play. The question here is what brings you joy purely in the doing.”
While work has required me to pull down on the play, I’ve managed to stay really committed to a really concentrated number of “play” activities I consider my top most priorities and most consistent sources for sheer Susan joy: reading, nature, and art 🙂
In an ideal world, I’d like to have even more leisure to explore more and see if other play activities would actually bring me more pleasure, but unfortunately exploration does require new commitment and more time allocated to things that are uncertain and at best to be determined in their joy-value adds in my life.  At least for now 🙂 And that’s okay.
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Desirable Traits

I’ve written down a list of traits I find most desirable in a human:

Discretion

Understanding

Uprightness

Love

Faithfulness

Discipline

Righteousness

Wisdom

Humility

A study of these and I find I have much to improve on.

It’s easy for us to forget these most important things when the things we chase after for which we can see the end result/return more easily/tangibly start to consume us.

Better to write them down, imprint them on your skin, sear them in your heart, then to forget and find yourself lost in the chase.

The chase is long. And the human race has proven time and time again that it’s a gigantic, messy blob prone to dissatisfactions, strivings, and wanderings.

It’s good to re-evaluate regularly what you are about, who you are, and why you are pursuing the things you are pursuing.

It would be a pity if you found yourself at the long tail of a track some day… having run all your life… having forgotten the why.. so far away from the person you initially dreamed you’d be.

Perspectives Global: A Young Streetwear Brand with a 2,000 Year Old Message.

US label Perspectives Global, a streetwear brand founded in 2012 by brother duo Cody and Devon de Jardin takes the phrase “the medium is the message” seriously.

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Check out their brand here and let me know if you’re seeing what I see.

In their most recent campaign the talented duo took direct inspiration from one of the oldest books in the world, the Bible, to send a message of strength, resilience, and endurance:

“Therefore we will not fear, though the Earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart o the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.” – Psalms 46: 2-3

We are in a world full of turmoil, whether we choose to acknowledge it wholly or not– it is present through the never ending flow of class and racial strife, international tension, hurting children, and civil conflicts in institutions.

More and more, young, talented designers are harnessing the power (and influence) of their strong visual narratives and their brands in a deliberate attempt to forge renewed meaning and send out messages to a sentient generation.  Likewise, the Jardin brothers speak to their observances of a reality full of brokenness and of distractions– in which it’s become easy to stay “blind to the darkness, pain, and injustice all around the world,” in their SS17 campaign.

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Life doesn’t always have to be about religion, about what you believe, or what you stand for, but it makes it a little more worthwhile living, if you do make it about that, don’t you think? Nevertheless, it feels great to see fashion brands standing for something beyond escapism and creative inspiration.

Asides from supporting their great vision, I’m also a big fan of the brothers’ activewear merchandise, namely the Katakana and Future Lite jackets.

Their lifestyle oriented outerwear is a an eye-catching alternative for you if you’ve exhausted your options with Patagonia, The North Face, Columbia, Marmot, Adidas and Arc’Teryx.

Check out the styles here:

 

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Future Lite Track Jacket

 

Yours,

Soo

Band of Friends

“There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes are not content with his wealth. ‘For whom am I toiling,’ he asked, and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment? This too is meaningless- a miserable business! Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” – Ecclesiastes 5:12

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This is my wonderful CG. It’s crazy to think that I’ve only known my friends here for a little over 3 months.

As a CG, we convene every week as a means to deepen our relationship with God and engage in fellowship. Here, I find myself being fed not just spiritually, but intellectually, physically, and emotionally. It’s almost indescribable to explain the encompassing and enormous nature of the benefits and joy I’ve received from these gatherings. I’ve also noticed that I’ve become more alert and acquired a heightened sensitivity to the going-ons in the world around me… to the conflicts and celebrations arising day by day in the personal lives of those I care about and also of those I was previously indifferent to.

Every week, we challenge each other with our questions regarding issues present in our world and current events, and around scripture; we ask each other about our careers, our job searches, our physical well-being – whether that leg is feeling better and how much exercise it’s taking, whether x project/x presentation last week went well; we rapidly learn intensely personal things about each other (exhibiting an unbelievable level of vulnerability and trust) I’m not sure I’ve ever learned this quickly in my other relationships.

We build one another up, and the effects of this is enduring and lasting throughout the week. Together, we actively seek and discuss ways to address and alleviate the hurt rampant in the broken world around us and to better each other as young citizens and humans bonded by a common belief.

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Sometimes I wonder if without this CG, I’d have ever befriended them or have even crossed paths with them. We all come from very different backgrounds and paths in life, and our personalities range across the entire color spectrum; it really would be hard to explain our deep friendships in relation to our compatibilities in the traditional sense of the word here.

Yet, these people have quickly become a home to me unlike any other I’ve found, and I can’t imagine a world not knowing them and not loving them.

I only wish I could explain to you better just how good this feels. How good he is to me.

Bises,

Soo

Soo’s 2016 Gift Guide

While the holiday season is indeed a time for many a celebration of significant histories propagated by religious institutions, it also heralds in a month of humanly epic proportions of consumption…

Engineer the perfect setup for a cozy evening in your urban abode this holiday, and use this time as an excuse to get some self-loving R&R.

1. Revolutionary Speakers

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Devialet Phantom

Patented intelligence and one tiny, savvy, smart sound system that packs an immersive sound experience in a very large room.

OR

2. Silent Headphones

Bose Quiet Comfort 35 Headphones

The first time I got my hands on Bose Headphones was when I “acquired” my dad’s QC 15s. Ever since, I’ve been hooked and fiercely loyal to this headphone line.

One of the best headphones I’ve ever used in my 24 years of existence– It’s not the most aesthetically pleasing, but personally, I really value being able to listen with uninterrupted focus to my music sans NYC noise over looking cool with my headphones. Function over form wins here for me.

Cnet Review: https://www.cnet.com/products/bose-quietcomfort-35/

3. Idyllic Drawings

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COCTEAU, Jean. Dessins

While Jean Cocteau was rather infamously remembered for being an aggressive social climber (cool fact: he was actually slighted in a portrait painting by Modigliani for these very reasons) and a “celebrity friend,” I deeply appreciate Cocteau for the writings, films, and doodles he created throughout his life. I think these reveal most significantly the contents of his character which do deserve remembering.

4. Relaxing Drink

pouilly

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Pouilly-FuissĂ© 2014 – Maison Louis Jadot

Not cloyingly sweet and not too crisp. I generally prefer red wine over white, but this one was really well balanced, and truly enjoyable to drink! Wine Spectator rates it in at a 91 — Good for drinking through 2022.

(Pouilly Fuissé is the appellation (A.O.C.) for this white wine (spec. Chardonnay grape) grown in Maçonnais (subregion) of Burgundy, France.

The labeling regulations for wine labels are very lenient; according to federal law, one is only required to list alcohol percentage if the proof is over 14%, and has liberal authority over what metric is signaled on the label header (such as Producer; Wine Region; Grape Variety). As a young wine drinker, these kind of things posed a great logistical challenge for me as I was trying to have deeper drinking experiences beyond that of a mere somatic examination. The Wine Spectator had an op-ed on this issue earlier this year, I’ll link it here once I’m able to find it–  a much more informative source, if you’re interested in learning more about the consequences of unsystematic wine labeling!)

5. Hand Candy

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Zalto Denk’Art Universal Glass

Boasting a modest, but sublimely delicate design, the Zalto Universal is competitively suited for all kinds of magical, multi-purpose drinking. It’s an absolute pleasure drinking from this glass and being able to indulge  3 senses.

I’ll be having a very warm and agape holiday season, and I hope you do too.

Bises,

Soo