Morning Meditations

3 years ago I started something out of passion and pure intellectual curiosity

in tandem with having some very serious questions:

“Do I go back to school to study art, something I love so much?”

“Should I spend a year in France doing part time jobs and fulfill my life long dream to figure out if I want to spend a significant portion of my life there?”

and visiting campuses to potentially apply to for an MBA track.

Everything is wildly different from what I’d expected a year ago, 3 years ago, 10 years ago.

I’ve come so far.

This journey in my current vocation has culminated in a breakthrough of sorts: In knowing myself, becoming myself, and enlightening myself to what I want, what I need, what is important, what is not, and the overwhelming abundance in knowledge that God’s been faithful to me through it all.

This photo is a tangible display of a whole lot of naivety, 16-18 hour work days, lots of grace and love when I needed it from family and friends, the generosity of acquaintances that in my view, took a chance on me and lifted me up – like angels, and God by my side.

Here stands a mere fraction of the formulations, the prototypes we made and threw away.

Coffee stains, compulsory.

There are days when I am scared. On those days I confront and fight a fear which is more often than not comprised of lies… fighting against uncertainty and anxiety that comes with not knowing what comes next.

(I am also very tired all the time 🙂 There are times I am so weary, I want it all to just go away. There are also times when I am very tired, but like a farmer that’s exhausted and reaped and sowed and is tired-content-satisfied-affirmed in the fact that he/she is doing good work 🙂 , but this [tiredness] is a whole topic for another day, taha).

But, these feelings that arise are juxtaposed with the truth I now live and believe to my very core, that things will be alright, however uncontrolled or lacking in detailing, so long as I lean on my identity and lay my questions to God.

Everything will be okay, whatever form the “okay” might take.

Destinations are uncertain, but my path is sure.

You’ll see me through my seasons.

 

 

 

… I thank God.

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5:07pm, Friday, July 12, 2019

Another crazy day

 

I wake up tired and sleep tired every day.

 

But the thing is,

I feel like I’m meant to be exactly where I am; I’ve never been in so much flow and so present. 

Even crazier

that– isn’t it.