Many of you know that I’m a woman and some of you know that I identify as a feminist, but very little of you know what color of what I mean by when I say I’m a feminist.
“Now when he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many believed in his name when they saw the signs that he was doing. 24 But Jesus on his part did not entrust himself to them, because he knew all people 25 and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man.” – John 2:23-25
(undeveloped thought: I see this all the time person to person, person to goods, person to business opportunity. We are no better than animals, some parts. At least cattle, wolves.. stick to the herd and follow through.)
(second undeveloped thought: We also profit from it. Every brand, company, human working in professional context really. We need people to run to us, when we hold up carrots and perceived "treasures")
May 5, 2019_Sunday
“No words can express the wonderful love that was shed abroad in my heart. I wept aloud with joy and love… I literally bellowed out the unutterable gushings of my heart.” – Charles Finney
Pretty much how I left church today.
Cried not just because I am seen, which really is how I feel nearly every day now since I opened up to the possibility of there being a real, for me, unconditionally loving and mighty God back in 2014, but because I felt so much overwhelming joy for my Father.
To not just interpret the text of religion, but to experience the reality of religion is life changing, soul-altering.
May 5, 2019_Sunday
To be happy for the rest of my life, no stops–
Not just in me because I’m human – fallible.
I make mistakes, do stupid things. Think stupid things. Desire, the stupid things.
Not in this world because we messed up.
Not in treasures or people, because the treasures go and the people
Not in drugs, because they don’t stay
Not in power, because it beckons the artificial
I don’t want just stillness, enlightenment, fragmented transcendence, serenity, clarity, purpose.
I’m not asking the impossible, I’m asking for what’s possible.
I want joy,
The problem with not being bad at anything is that it makes you confused about what you’re passionate about.
I had a tough week this past week.
Every day was like carrying a big rock on my back and my chest [emotionally and mentally].
And I couldn’t seem to pinpoint the why.
I had an eventful and fun week, yes and done connected with people I like, and did the things I was supposed to do, but that doesn’t mean I was mentally or emotionally well through and through.
Sometimes, you’ve built good systems and processes and they prevent and protect you from breaking down on a foundational level, but you can still have soul-turmoil at any point in life.
I’m grateful for the friends and the schedule that distracted me from it during the days and into the nights.
Without it, I, human as I am would have gotten sucked down by the gravity of my feelings.
I know now it is the worst to keep myself to myself when I’m heavy in heart or in mind. It’s like encouraging soul-suicide.
It warps everything else. Because the things going inside.. whether the duration is temporary or long term begin to squeeze and alter everything else around– kind of like a cancerous tumor… and they dim you, change you.
But you’ve got to bring in others and keep a community very close (I cannot emphasize this enough) to you that are not occupied with such thoughts. They will, whether you recognize it or not immediately, shed a beam of fulle light into you, when everything else inside is squeezing down and closing in.
Think of community as your armor against an unhealthy, disoriented, frame of reference-stuck mindset.
Think of community as the things that help you breathe.
Give your mind and heart the space to loosen some of the tangles going on. Sometimes, you need to time to let the unconscious process what your conscious mind cannot. (ps, if you want to learn more about this, you can get into neuroscience, and you’ll find your way with the understanding part :))
You can accelerate the loosening of the tangles with help, such as getting personal counsel, looking to friends, and also starting to journal to see how you’re actually processing things.
Or sometimes you’re stuck, and you need to give yourself a day, or two. Maybe you need to let that breathe on its own too before telling it to go and putting an end to it. And that’s okay.
But, put an end to it you must.
In fact, I know what’s been hurting me.
I’ve just been afraid to call it out by name.
I’ve been participating in thought leadership discussions these days and they’ve been immensely productive and awesome, and there are many amazing, visionary, and progressive people I get to meet on a regular basis, but I’ve also observed that there’s been a regular sub- current present in conversations that takes the form of low-key shitting on of millennials; there are founders, CEOs, and other leaders that appear to want to discuss everything from Generation Millenial’s lack of work ethic to their overly aspirational or vulnerable selves, and this mainly from Gen Xers and Baby Boomers (1. Surprisingly from Gen X people compared to Baby Boomers, and 2. I see less of a shitting on of Gen Z; perhaps it’s because the manifestation of said generation’s values there are so separate and unrecognizable from former generations’ values that it’s easier to reconcile the difference the older people? Sais pas)
All valid comments and concerns for sure, but I’d strongly argue that such publicly voiced generalizations, and in very negative tones (which is what I have an issue with) to describe or discuss the behavior or mannerisms of the next generation [or any future generation for that matter] is conducive, generative [or really even accurate] in any way.
Lack of work ethic isn’t a generational problem, it’s an individual problem. So is being unhealthily aspirational.
It’s important be cognizant of the words you say, because you are making generalizations about a population that is 73 million strong. And we’re looking for cross-generational collaboration and the continuation of good legacy here, not regressive tribe-ness.
Instead of criticizing, maybe it’s best to ask constructive questions on how to DAHNCE with conflicting behaviors/actions of other generations– you know, first put an effort in trying to understand the difference in generational demographics and the trends and conversations causing such a so called schism in values and views of the world.
Just a thought.
We’re not going to go away.