Morning Meditations

3 years ago I started something out of passion and pure intellectual curiosity

in tandem with having some very serious questions:

“Do I go back to school to study art, something I love so much?”

“Should I spend a year in France doing part time jobs and fulfill my life long dream to figure out if I want to spend a significant portion of my life there?”

and visiting campuses to potentially apply to for an MBA track.

Everything is wildly different from what I’d expected a year ago, 3 years ago, 10 years ago.

I’ve come so far.

This journey in my current vocation has culminated in a breakthrough of sorts: In knowing myself, becoming myself, and enlightening myself to what I want, what I need, what is important, what is not, and the overwhelming abundance in knowledge that God’s been faithful to me through it all.

This photo is a tangible display of a whole lot of naivety, 16-18 hour work days, lots of grace and love when I needed it from family and friends, the generosity of acquaintances that in my view, took a chance on me and lifted me up – like angels, and God by my side.

Here stands a mere fraction of the formulations, the prototypes we made and threw away.

Coffee stains, compulsory.

There are days when I am scared. On those days I confront and fight a fear which is more often than not comprised of lies… fighting against uncertainty and anxiety that comes with not knowing what comes next.

(I am also very tired all the time 🙂 There are times I am so weary, I want it all to just go away. There are also times when I am very tired, but like a farmer that’s exhausted and reaped and sowed and is tired-content-satisfied-affirmed in the fact that he/she is doing good work 🙂 , but this [tiredness] is a whole topic for another day, taha).

But, these feelings that arise are juxtaposed with the truth I now live and believe to my very core, that things will be alright, however uncontrolled or lacking in detailing, so long as I lean on my identity and lay my questions to God.

Everything will be okay, whatever form the “okay” might take.

Destinations are uncertain, but my path is sure.

You’ll see me through my seasons.

 

 

 

… I thank God.

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Morning Meditations

August 5, 2019_Monday

On an average work day or Saturday, I am carrying around 15 pounds worth of papers and books– add in a couple extra pounds considering I carry my gym clothes and sneakers around with me too.

I haven’t worn a high heel in over a year.

For the longest time I slung Goyards, Longchamps, clutches-purses-decorative backpacks that did not hold [anything] everything, and whatnots for the sake of preference and style.

At 26, those things no longer serve me.

Rather, the pain & inconvenience to pleasure ratio makes it so that I’ve begun to serve them.

So bye I said to wearing my 3 – 4 inch heels a whiles ago.

While I am not exiling my bags yet, what I did do Sunday was stop by Patagonia [for the first time in my life] and buy a backpack (The Refugio 28L) with awesome shoulder and back padding.

For me now and in reference to extremes, I’d rather have a comfortable body than a beautifully ornamented one– this coming from someone who deeply loves fashion.

I’d personally rather wear and apply things that preserve my posture, my youth, and support my activities in a way I see fit.

What about you?

 

 

My Preferred Flat Shoes of The Moment – Women’s Edition

I’ve been following this Australian brand with great interest for the past year; the overall silhouette looks a little rough, but as an accessory that completes a “look”, it looks absolutely fantastic. A total success in comfort-luxe, and that’s the place I love to be in, style-wise:

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Bertie Slippers

I’ve been over Common Projects for a while, but wow, I must appreciate this fresh take on its now omnipresent sneaker style:

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COMMON PROECTS – Achilles Retro Leather Sneakers 
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LOEWE Crocodile Stamped Leather Penny Loafers
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TOD’s Crocodile Stamped Leather Loafers

 

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GUCCI Bit-Detail Velvet Loafers

And of course, not to ever be neglected are Manolo Blahnik flats; I am always appreciative of them– particularly the crystal buckled styles:

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David Zwirner Gallery: Endless Enigma: 8 Centuries of Fantastic Art

Chris and I go on a lengthy art gallery hop through Chelsea, and I’d have to say this was our favorite pit-stop: David Zwirner Gallery, a stellar power house.
We had to gulp down our cappuccinos.
So happy to see works I’ve never seen before in person from artist like Max Ernst and Rene Magritte. I have a particular attachment to the Dada and Surrealist movements.
René Magritte

A rather tempered work of Hieronymus Bosch:

Hieronymus Bosch

Siren-like beauties– very much like the Valentino SS 2015 Campaign. I’d say almost identical in interpretation. I’m not sure about the strength of Leonor Fini’s other works, but my goodness, to have this in my home:

Leonor Fini

Things that make my childlike soul go hop!:

Amazing mastery of painting, and the chemistry between the movement of the waves vs. the wood like whorls of the levitating mass:

Max Ernst

The power of women:

The detailing and lifework on this was superior:

Richard Humphry

Birds and wood:

Herri met de Bles

Running until October 27 @ David Zwirner Gallery

The Dreamers, a story of denial, withdrawal, and sexuality– how French.

(written, but unpublished from August 23, 2017, age 24)

 

The Dreamers is not for the sexually faint of heart, but it is truly a story to behold.

The lines that stayed with me:

“One of us, one of us!”

 

The scenes that stayed with me:

When Isabelle’s hair catches on fire, and Matthew is instinctively aflutter with trying to take it out and the scene fuzzes out and in–and everything seems to just slow down with that gaze..

Obviously, one of the most sensual and irreverent sex scenes I’ve ever seen. Isabelle and Matthew having sex for the first time in the kitchen whilst Theo makes some eggs for himself in the background, copping a cig, with a literal revolution (student demonstrations) and chaos unfolding on the streets.

Theo and Isabelle playfully slams the door on Matthew in the rain. And he’s locked out. A true third wheel in the most unnatural sense of the word. Matthew is left standing for moments that seem like a life-time, exasperated, dejected, rejected, third-wheeldified. So much passive aggression in this scene. SWEET RICHNESS.

All the gazes!

The best scenes and moments are left untouched so you’ll have to watch the film on your own if you’re curious to and want to understand what the hell I mean from the above.

But here’s a couple of photos to brief you 🙂

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Musings & Tucans in Le Marais

I am sitting in a very pretty coffee shop called the Yellow Tucan.

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The cafe owner decorates the cafe with bright spots of yellow: oranges, tulips, architectural chairs, and truly brightens up the spirits of anyone stopping in.

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It’s been 4 days since I’ve arrived in Paris.

Outside of my meetings for work I’ve committing to a practice of solitude as that’s what I have been looking for as I chose to take this trip– to recalibrate and deepen my focus.

After a sprint of work here and finishing this letter, I will go out to meet a friend, Pierre, to do what’s perhaps some much needed socializing. We will be going to the Musee de la Chasse et de la Nature. It will be my first time, and I am so very excited to go as I know the decorative art pieces there are splendid!

It hasn’t been difficult at all to find new friends here. There have been the hiccups of having to ward off men though. …on runs, during walks between meetings. But it’s nothing.

Work is going very well, although I’m shy to share with you the details of the project I have been working on just yet. It takes a lot of preparation, a lot of risk, and sharing sometimes feels scary because it feels like I am putting all my eggs in one basket, when I myself am not absolutely sure where this heading. But this I think is the scared me talking. 🙂

Things are moving very quickly forward though. It’s enough to excite me and frighten me simultaneously.

I hope I have the courage to continue on.  And if not, I hope I have the courage to take up something new again. To persevere, and also to be brazen when acting for the good things– the worthy things.

Arming myself for the days ahead.

Love,

Soo