On Presence_February 4, 2020

I was doing my daily morning devotionals today,

listing what I’m grateful for,

praising God with a worship song,

lifting up the prayers of my own and of my dear friends and community, and for those in need of prayer for healing: from the flu, the Corona virus, from anxiety, from stress, from anxiety driven by a constant need for control, but never being able to get it, by identity formed from performance, and more,

reading the word (the Bible)

and hoping to get even more closer to God and more aligned, or sometimes just even getting aligned) to God’s will.

Today’s devotionals was one of those days when I started out with a cloudy mind. Luckily, not cloudy from an unsettling negative mood, but cloudy from the bustle of thoughts coming in and out of my mind.

So midway I stopped. Because this is not the way it should be. And I wrote a prayer:

“God, I confess my mind is abuzz with so many distractions [this work day]. So many thoughts of the to dos, opportunities, and ideas. Help me see and believe and think and act in a way that reflects that you are my greatest to do, my greatest opportunity, and my greatest thought.”

And then I resumed. And it was great 🙂 A marked peace entered by mind, and I am glad I was able to lift up my lack of focus to God this morning and just say, “here I am. I’m totally unfocused right now and thinking of 6 million things, and all of them have nothing to do with you and I’m sorry. I don’t want to color this time with my agenda, worldly thoughts, and not be present for you.”.

I am grateful for another day to live.

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