I was recently chatting with a friend of mine about dating and relationships, someone I respect for both his mind and heart, and we got into a conversation about our desires and preferences for life and overall tastes in reference to interpersonal dynamics. Puzzled by one comment I made about my strong preference as a woman in the context of romance in being pursued and taking on a more passive role, he posited that I can’t possibly be an independent woman who runs her own company and is independent with this and that.. and simultaneously prefer to be led and defer to a lover or partner.
I get confused with comments like these:
my desires are valid, these thoughts are ones I solidly own, I’m confident in my worth as a human, and I’m not threatened by the concept of allowing someone to take control, male or female. So what’s the problem?
At large, and on the subject of all things interpersonal and healthy, I generally don’t feel the need to prove who is on top or equal as I from the get go assume I am only interested in engaging myself to people that are open to considering and treating me fundamentally as their equal. And, if I didn’t like whatever I didn’t like, it’s in my power to disengage or leave the relationship– any relationship. So I come again to “what’s the problem?”
In any healthy relationship, I feel absolutely 0% desire to prove.c
It was a fascinating thing to dwell on, which is why I suppose I am sharing this 🙂
The mental models we lock ourselves into.